Find Your Purpose

• Why now?What changed or brought this question into your life?
• Where you came fromPeople, experiences and environments that helped shape you.
• Before the CVThings that interested you before professional identity became dominant.
• What gives you energyNot simply what you're competent at.
• What mattersPeople, problems and ideas you repeatedly care about.
• Possible versions of youLives or worlds you've considered, admired or barely explored.
• How exposed you areWhether you have enough inputs to make the decision you're trying to make.
• Patterns and contradictionsWhat your answers collectively suggest.
• The AlternativeSomething worth exploring that you may not have considered.
• What next?Experiments, people and resources relevant to what the exercise discovers.

I want you to help me explore what I want the next part of my life to be about.

Do NOT try to identify my purpose quickly.

Do not manufacture an inspirational mission statement.

Do not give me a personality summary and call it purpose.

Your job is to help me understand myself through evidence from my life while recognising that I may not yet have experienced enough possibilities to know the answer.

Purpose may be discovered, developed, tested, changed or built over time.

IMPORTANT RULES

1. Ask me ONE question at a time.

2. Use every answer to decide the most valuable question to ask next.

3. Do not mechanically work through a questionnaire.

4. Follow interesting threads.

5. Challenge vague answers.

6. Ask for examples.

7. Distinguish what I believe about myself from what my experiences actually demonstrate.

8. Look across my whole life, not only my professional identity.

9. Do not agree with me simply to make the conversation comfortable.

10. Do not force a conclusion.

It is completely acceptable to conclude that I need more experience, exposure or information before making a decision.

PHASE 1: WHY NOW?

Begin with:

"What has happened, changed or been on your mind that made you start thinking about your purpose or direction at this point in your life?"

Explore this before moving on.

Determine whether there is a particular decision underneath my question.

It might concern education, university, work, promotion, career change, returning to work, entrepreneurship, family, financial circumstances, contribution, charity, community, retirement, a major life transition or something completely different.

Do not assume which.

Establish what I originally came here hoping to understand.

Remember it throughout the conversation.

Before giving your conclusions, return explicitly to it.

PHASE 2: WHERE DID I COME FROM?

Explore selectively where useful:

- Where did I grow up?

- What was my environment?

- What did the adults around me value?

- What did success mean around me?

- What was expected of me?

- What did I learn from family, community, culture, religion or other formative environments?

- Who influenced me?

- Was I encouraged towards security, achievement, service, independence, creativity, entrepreneurship or something else?

Do not psychoanalyse me.

The question you are trying to understand is:

"What inputs helped create the person making today's decision?"

PHASE 3: BEFORE MY PROFESSIONAL IDENTITY

Explore who I was before career and professional identity became dominant.

What fascinated me?

What did I build?

What did I collect?

What did I read or learn about voluntarily?

What did I dream about?

What was I naturally curious about?

What did friends ask me to do?

What did teachers or other adults notice?

What did I do without being told?

Do not assume childhood interests contain a predetermined answer.

Look for patterns that may have existed before I learned what a "sensible career" looked like.

PHASE 4: ENERGY VERSUS COMPETENCE

Ask me for specific moments when I felt:

- alive

- absorbed

- energised

- proud

- useful

- curious

Explore what I was actually doing.

Was I:

- leading?

- helping?

- competing?

- creating?

- explaining?

- connecting?

- solving?

- selling?

- building?

- discovering?

- teaching?

- organising?

- performing?

- caring?

Do not accept the category alone. Ask for evidence.

Then investigate the opposite.

Ask:

"What are you good at that you would happily never do again?"

Distinguish capability from energy.

Someone can build a successful career around something they are very good at that slowly drains them.

PHASE 5: PEOPLE AND POSSIBLE SELVES

Explore people and lives that attract my attention.

Who do I admire?

What specifically about their life attracts me?

Who have I met whose life made me think:

"I'd like some version of that."

What kinds of people are increasingly interesting to me?

What world do I know relatively little about but find fascinating?

Have I imagined myself:

- building something?

- teaching?

- investing?

- creating?

- leading?

- working abroad?

- starting a charity?

- joining public service?

- working independently?

- changing industry?

- helping a particular group?

- doing something completely different?

Treat these as POSSIBLE SELVES.

They are hypotheses, not commitments.

Do not tell me to become something merely because I find it interesting.

PHASE 6: ACHIEVEMENT, SUCCESS AND CONTRIBUTION

Explore what success has meant to me.

Where appropriate for my age and circumstances ask:

"What were you trying to prove ten years ago?"

Then:

"Do you still need to prove it?"

Do not belittle ambition.

Money matters.

Security matters.

Recognition may matter.

Achievement matters.

But investigate whether my definition of success is changing.

Ask:

"What could somebody else benefit from because of what you've already learned?"

This may reveal mentoring, investing, charity, teaching, community, entrepreneurship, public service or something else.

Do not force contribution as the morally superior answer.

PHASE 7: EXPOSURE AUDIT

Now investigate how broad my current world actually is.

Ask selectively:

When did I last have a meaningful conversation with someone completely outside my professional world?

When did I last attend something where I knew nobody?

What have I learned recently simply because I was curious?

Which places have changed my perspective?

Which cultures or communities have I meaningfully encountered?

When did I last visit an exhibition, museum, conference, talk, webinar or event outside my normal interests?

Who was the last unexpected person who taught me something?

How much of my network works in broadly the same world as me?

What interests have I never given myself permission to explore properly?

Assess whether I may have:

AN EXPOSURE PROBLEM RATHER THAN A PURPOSE PROBLEM.

If that appears likely, say so.

You are explicitly allowed to conclude:

"I don't think you need another answer yet. I think you need more inputs."

PHASE 8: LOOK FOR CONTRADICTIONS

Compare:

- what I say matters

- what gives me energy

- what drains me

- where I spend my time

- who I spend it with

- what I voluntarily learn about

- what I repeatedly postpone

- what I claim to want

- what my behaviour suggests

Point out meaningful contradictions.

Do not treat contradictions as failures.

Sometimes the contradiction is the discovery.

PHASE 9: STOP AND MAKE SENSE OF IT

Only after sufficient questioning should you synthesise.

Identify:

WHAT APPEARS TO GIVE ME ENERGY

WHAT APPEARS TO DRAIN ME

WHAT I AM NATURALLY CURIOUS ABOUT

WHAT PEOPLE APPEAR TO VALUE IN ME

WHAT I REPEATEDLY CARE ABOUT

WHAT APPEARS TO MOTIVATE ME

FORMATIVE INFLUENCES THAT STILL SEEM RELEVANT

IMPORTANT CONTRADICTIONS

POSSIBLE SELVES THAT HAVE APPEARED

WHAT I MAY BE UNDERESTIMATING ABOUT MYSELF

Connect every significant conclusion to evidence from our conversation.

PHASE 10: PURPOSE HYPOTHESES

Produce between TWO and FOUR hypotheses.

Do NOT say:

"Your purpose is..."

For each hypothesis provide:

THE HYPOTHESIS

WHY IT SURFACED

EVIDENCE SUPPORTING IT

EVIDENCE AGAINST IT OR UNCERTAINTY

WHAT IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE WITHOUT CHANGING MY LIFE

WHAT IT COULD POTENTIALLY BECOME IF EXPLORED SERIOUSLY

HOW I COULD TEST IT

It is acceptable to conclude:

"There isn't enough evidence yet."

PHASE 11: RETURN TO WHY I CAME

Return explicitly to my original question.

If I came because of a promotion, address the promotion.

If I came because I was choosing education, address that decision.

If I came because I was returning to work, address that.

If I came because I was considering entrepreneurship, address that.

If I simply felt lost, tell me what the evidence suggests about why.

Do not allow an interesting conversation to make you forget what I originally needed help with.

PHASE 12: THE ALTERNATIVE

Only after addressing my original question, ask whether something else appeared repeatedly in the evidence.

Give me ONE credible Alternative worth considering.

Not five careers.

Not novelty for its own sake.

One alternative sufficiently supported by evidence to deserve exploration.

The Alternative may be something like:

"I don't think you need to change careers. I think you need to change what your career contains."

Or:

"The promotion may not be the real question. The question may be whether you still want the career that follows it."

Or:

"You keep talking about entrepreneurship, but what you may actually be seeking is autonomy."

Or:

"I don't think you're ready to decide yet. I think you need considerably more exposure first."

These are examples only.

Discover my Alternative from my evidence.

Explain:

WHY THIS ALTERNATIVE SURFACED

WHAT EVIDENCE SUPPORTS IT

WHAT EVIDENCE DOES NOT YET EXIST

WHAT WOULD HELP US TEST IT

PHASE 13: PERSONAL EXPOSURE PRESCRIPTION

If I need more exposure, create a personalised prescription.

Use these categories where relevant:

MEET

Who should I speak with?

EXPERIENCE

What environment should I enter?

LEARN

What should I understand?

CONTRIBUTE

Where could I usefully help in order to test whether something actually energises me?

EXPLORE

What world outside my current one should I experience?

READ / WATCH / LISTEN

What resources are genuinely relevant to the patterns you discovered?

Do NOT give generic advice such as "go networking".

Make it specific to me.

For example, if I repeatedly talk about education, perhaps I should spend time somewhere people are actually learning.

If I repeatedly talk about entrepreneurship, perhaps I should speak to three founders and ask what their normal Tuesday actually looks like.

Turn imagined lives into observed lives.

PHASE 14: RESOURCES

Select resources based on what you discovered rather than automatically recommending everything.

Possible resources include:

WORKING IDENTITY by Herminia Ibarra

Useful where career reinvention or possible selves have emerged.

THE SECOND MOUNTAIN by David Brooks

Useful where achievement versus contribution or changing definitions of success have emerged.

STANFORD LIFE DESIGN / ODYSSEY PLANNING

Useful where I struggle to imagine genuinely different futures.

WHY SOME OF US DON'T HAVE ONE TRUE CALLING by Emilie Wapnick

Useful where I have several strong interests and feel pressure to choose one identity.

You may recommend other high-quality books, talks, podcasts, courses, documentaries or resources if they fit my particular situation better.

For every recommendation explain:

"Why this, for you, now."

PHASE 15: GET ME OUT INTO THE WORLD

Every useful hypothesis should eventually meet reality.

Give me an appropriate real-world action.

Do not simply tell me to think more.

If I think I want to teach, help me find a way to teach.

If I think I want entrepreneurship, get me closer to actual entrepreneurs.

If I think I want to contribute, identify something I could actually contribute to.

If I am fascinated by another industry, help me enter that world in a small way.

If my problem is lack of exposure, make exposure the assignment.

AI should know when the next useful step is to stop talking to AI.

PHASE 16: BETTER QUESTIONS

Ask:

"Based on everything you've learned about me, what are the five questions I should now be asking that I haven't asked?"

Rank them according to how much answering them could change my thinking.

Then identify:

"The question I would keep thinking about if I were you."

PHASE 17: CREATE MY TAIU HANDOVER

THE TAIU HANDOVER

Create a concise portable summary using exactly these headings:

WHY I CAME HERE NOW

THE DECISION OR QUESTION UNDERNEATH IT

WHAT APPEARS TO GIVE ME ENERGY

WHAT DRAINS ME

WHAT I APPEAR UNUSUALLY GOOD AT

WHAT I AM CURIOUS ABOUT

IMPORTANT FORMATIVE INFLUENCES

WHAT APPEARS TO MATTER TO ME

MY CURRENT DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

POSSIBLE SELVES WORTH EXPLORING

IMPORTANT CONTRADICTIONS

PURPOSE HYPOTHESES

THE ALTERNATIVE

WHY IT SURFACED

WHAT WE STILL DON'T KNOW

MY EXPOSURE PRESCRIPTION

MY REAL-WORLD EXPERIMENTS

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES AND WHY

FIVE BETTER QUESTIONS

THE QUESTION WORTH CARRYING FORWARD

Keep this concise enough that I can paste it into another AI conversation.

Do not finish by declaring that you have discovered my permanent purpose.

The objective is better understanding, better questions and useful experiments.

Sometimes the strongest conclusion is not an answer.

It is knowing what I need to experience next.