Tool 23 · Develop yourself

What do I locate myself inside?

Not a search for a cause. Most people are already inside two or three things and have never named one of them.

Two young men sitting and standing on a coastal breakwater at night, town lights behind them

A guided 20 to 25 minute conversation using ChatGPT. Free, no account, nothing to sign up to.

  1. 01

    Copy

    Take the TAIU prompt.

  2. 02

    Paste

    Open ChatGPT.

  3. 03

    Talk

    One question at a time.

Copies the TAIU prompt. Paste it into ChatGPT.

You don't need ChatGPT Plus. The free version is fine.

If you disappeared for a month, what would stop happening?

That list is the honest map of what you are part of.

Small counts. Obligation counts. You are already part of enough is a legitimate result here.

What you'll explore

  1. 01Who would notice if you disappeared for a month
  2. 02Something you turn up to that you would not call important
  3. 03Something you would defend that has nothing to do with you personally
  4. 04Something you want to still exist after you are gone

A note from Mark

Mark Eve, founder of TAIU

I distrust the word legacy. It usually turns up when somebody wants their name attached to something rather than the thing itself to continue.

What I have noticed is that the people who are most obviously part of something rarely talk in those terms. They talk about the Tuesday committee, or the trade, or their grandfather, or the state of the river. They turn up. They are irritated by it half the time. And if they stopped, several things would quietly fail.

That is what being inside something looks like from the outside. Not a statement of purpose. An attendance record and a few people who would notice.

Read my full view ↓

So I would not go hunting for something larger before checking what you are already in. Most people are surprised by the answer, and a fair number find they are inside more than they can currently sustain, which is a different problem entirely.

What you'll get

You won't finish with a personality type.You'll leave with answers you can actually test.

  1. 01

    What you already belong to

  2. 02

    What it asks of you

  3. 03

    What you contribute

  4. 04

    Whether anything is missing

  5. +

    Your TAIU handover — a portable summary of everything the conversation established.

See everything included ↓
  • 01What you came here with
  • 02What you already belong to
  • 03How it shows up
  • 04What you contribute to it
  • 05Where it came from
  • 06What you have lost
  • 07The rival reading
  • 08What it asks of you
  • 09What deserves protecting
  • 10The credible alternative
  • 11What, if anything, should change
  • 12What remains unresolved
  • 13Where this goes next

What now?

  1. 01 · Save it

    What you already locate yourself inside, named from evidence rather than aspiration.

  2. 02 · Test it

    Turn up once to the thing you keep half attending, and pay attention to whether it costs or restores you.

Explore this further ↓

Before you go looking for something to join

Adding a commitment to a full life is a real cost. If the exercise found you are already inside enough, take that seriously.

Where something was lost rather than missing, replacement is rarely the right first move. Name what it gave you before you look for a substitute.

What I would do

  1. 01

    Look at attendance before belief. Turning up repeatedly is the strongest evidence of belonging there is.

  2. 02

    Include the ones that annoy you. Obligation is a form of membership and it is often the truest kind.

  3. 03

    Do not measure by scale. A choir counts. A canal restoration group counts. Half the useful things in Britain are run by nine people.

  4. 04

    Ask what it costs you. Belonging that asks nothing is usually an interest rather than a membership.

  5. 05

    If you genuinely belong to nothing, resist the urge to fix it in one move. Establish first whether it is loss, choice or circumstance.

Test it

  1. 01

    Work out what would fail if you stopped. If nothing, that is information rather than a verdict.

  2. 02

    Ask who taught you the thing you are best at. Whatever they were part of, you are downstream of it.

  3. 03

    Take the obligation you resent most and ask whether you would actually resign it. The answer is usually no, and it is worth knowing why.

The alternative

The obvious conclusion is that you need something larger in your life and should go and find it. Occasionally true. More often you are already inside several things and have been withholding the word from all of them because they are not impressive enough. Sometimes what you belong to is a craft rather than a group of people, which is why every conversation about community has felt wrong. And sometimes the honest answer is that you left something and have not replaced it, and naming the loss is more useful than filling it quickly.

Think about this

  • Who would notice if you disappeared for a month, and what would stop happening.
  • Something you turn up to that you would never describe as important.
  • Something you would defend that has no personal benefit to you at all.
  • Somebody older who handed you something you still use.
  • Something you want to still exist after you are gone, whether or not it is yours.

Take this to Ask Mark

You've done the exercise. Now challenge what came back.

Interpretation, not another copy-and-paste exercise.

Take this to Ask Mark →

Finished the exercise?

What did this uncover?

Tell us whether it helped and what you discovered. It takes less than a minute.

A volunteer waiting at the open door of a community minibus with the ramp down

Next tool

Who benefits from my life besides me?

If it found belonging but no clear contribution

Further thinking

  • Awe

    Dacher Keltner

  • Awe, the small self, and prosocial behavior

    Paul Piff and colleagues

  • Man's Search for Meaning

    Viktor E. Frankl

Explore the thinking ↓

Book

Awe

Dacher Keltner

Keltner spent years collecting accounts of awe from across cultures and found it turns up far more often in ordinary life than in cathedrals or canyons. Music, moral beauty, other people's courage. Useful when you are trying to name what you locate yourself inside without reaching for language that is not yours.

Article

Awe, the small self, and prosocial behavior

Paul Piff and colleagues

The interesting finding is not that awe feels good. It is that experiences which diminish the sense of self are followed by more generous and more cooperative behaviour. It gives a practical reason to take seriously what makes you feel small, rather than treating it as a matter of taste.

Book

Man's Search for Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl

Frankl spent three years in the camps and came out arguing that a life is held together by what a person answers for, not by what they are spared. The useful part here is not the survival story. It is his insistence that freedom without responsibility is only half a life, which is the exact counterweight to the modern habit of treating every obligation as a burden to be renegotiated.