Where to start looking
My friendships are not what they were
The people you would call in a crisis are not the people you see.
Everything is arranged weeks ahead and half of it gets cancelled.
You are not lonely exactly. There is just less of it than there was.
Most friendships end by attrition rather than decision
Work, children, moving, illness, time. Nobody falls out. The contact simply thins until picking it up feels like an event. That is ordinary, and it is also a real loss worth acknowledging rather than explaining away.
Adult friendship needs organising
The friendships people miss were built by proximity, which adulthood removes. What replaces proximity is deliberate effort, and it feels unnatural at first because it is.
This may be fine
Some people have fewer, deeper connections and are content. Not every change in a social life is a problem to correct. It is worth deciding which of these you are.
What this usually connects to
- Who is actually in your life at the moment, rather than who you count.
- Which of these you miss specifically, as opposed to missing having more people.
A question worth sitting with
- Who would you contact this week if it were not awkward?
The session takes an honest look at who is around you now.
Who is actually in my lifeIt is a conversation, not a questionnaire. You can stop at any point, and finishing it does not mean anything has to change.
If the question turns out to be a different one