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Tool 58 · Develop yourself

What is it for, now that it is not for survival?

A guided 18 to 22 minutes conversation, here in TAIU. This exercise does not assume money makes people empty. Sometimes the honest answer is that life is better and the freedom should be used.

GUIDES

You have named it. Now spend some time on it.

Each Guide gives you a clear way to look at one subject in your own time. Choose where to begin. You do not need to work through everything.

Before and after

What actually changed

Compare what money was meant to change with what is genuinely different now.

Where this often ends up: A plain account of what changed, what did not and what deserves protecting.

It may also end with a clearer view of something, or with nothing that needs doing.

Around twenty minutes

Beyond survival

What the money is for now

Work out what money should make possible now that it is no longer only covering survival.

Where this often ends up: Your own account of what the money is for now, including anything it no longer needs to prove.

It may also end with a clearer view of something, or with nothing that needs doing.

Around thirty minutes

The finishing line

Where the striving can stop

Decide what you can stop chasing, what is still worth pursuing and what you would leave exactly as it is.

Where this often ends up: A finishing line in your own words, or your reason for keeping the ambition.

It may also end with a clearer view of something, or with nothing that needs doing.

Around twenty minutes

This Guide is free, like everything else in The Clearing.

You can see what it covers before you begin.

Start this Guide
A woman in a supermarket aisle reaching by habit towards the reduced shelf, basket in hand

What do you still refuse to spend money on?

Whatever it is, it was decided by somebody in a harder position, and it has never been reviewed since.

Arriving can be flat without anything being wrong.

What you'll look at

  1. 01What changed
  2. 02What it solved
  3. 03The old habits
  4. 04What work is for

A note from Mark

Mark Eve, founder of TAIU

I would start by giving the money proper credit. It solved things. It is fashionable to skip past that on the way to a more interesting problem, and it is dishonest. Not being frightened about money is a significant improvement in a life.

Then I would look for the leftovers. Almost everybody who has been short of money keeps something from it. A refusal to spend on a particular thing, a habit of checking, a job held on to long after it was needed. Some of that is good judgement worth protecting. Some of it is a rule written by a person who no longer exists.

Read my full view ↓

The striving question is the real one. If somebody built themselves on getting there, arriving can be strangely flat, not because money is hollow but because the organising purpose has gone. That is a design problem, not a spiritual crisis, and it has practical answers.

And I would ask the people around you. Money changes rooms. Roles shift, expectations shift, and it is usually visible to everybody except the person who earned it.

What you'll get

This will not sort you into a personality type.It will give you answers about your own life that you can test.

  1. 01

    What it solved

  2. 02

    Old scarcity habits

  3. 03

    What work is for

  4. 04

    What to protect

  5. +

    Your TAIU handover: a summary of what the conversation found, written so you can take it with you.

See everything included ↓
  • 01What you came here with
  • 02What the money solved
  • 03What it did not solve
  • 04What is now actually possible
  • 05What still runs on scarcity
  • 06What work is for now
  • 07Who else is affected
  • 08The rival reading
  • 09What deserves protecting
  • 10What remains unresolved
  • 11Where this goes next

What now?

  1. 01 · Save it

    What the money solved, and what it did not.

  2. 02 · Test it

    Spend money once on the thing you still refuse to spend it on. Notice what happens.

See more ↓

What I would do

  1. 01

    Say plainly what it solved. It is allowed to be a lot.

  2. 02

    Notice which scarcity habits are wisdom and which are simply out of date.

  3. 03

    Decide what the work is for now, rather than letting it default.

  4. 04

    Ask whether anything has changed for the people closest to you.

  5. 05

    Be willing to conclude that nothing needs fixing.

Test it

  1. 01

    What did the money actually solve?

  2. 02

    What do you still refuse to spend on?

  3. 03

    If it could not be lost, what would you stop doing?

The alternative

The expected reading is that success has left something missing. Two alternatives usually produce more. Nothing existential may need fixing at all, and the honest finding is greater freedom that has not yet been used. Or the opposite: continuing to optimise for money may no longer improve anything measurable, and the striving has become a habit rather than a decision, which is a real finding and quite different from emptiness.

Think about this

  • What the money genuinely solved.
  • What you still will not spend money on, and why.
  • What work is for now.
  • Who around you has adjusted, and who has not.
  • What you would do if none of it could be lost.

Take this to Ask Mark

You have done the exercise. Now look again at what it found.

This looks at what you found and helps you understand it. It is not another exercise to repeat.

Take this to Ask Mark →

Put this into practice

TRY · 10 MIN

Define Enough

TAIU

Enough is the number that would let you stop chasing more. Write it down, with the life it buys, so it stops moving.

Try it →
Was this useful?

LEARN · GUIDE

Beginner's guide to managing your money

MoneyHelper

Impartial and free, which most money advice is not.

Find out more ↗
Was this useful?

Recommended by the TAIU community

What helped you?

If you've read, watched, listened to or tried something that helped you think about this differently, we'd like to hear about it.

We review recommendations before sharing them with the community.

Finished the exercise?

What did this uncover?

Tell us whether it helped and what you discovered. It takes less than a minute.

A man in overalls handing workshop keys to a younger person at an open roller door, already turning to leave

Next tool

Generosity

If the question is what to do with the surplus

Further thinking

  • Income and emotional well-being: a conflict resolved

    Matthew Killingsworth, Daniel Kahneman and Barbara Mellers

  • The Hedonic Adaptation Prevention Model

    Kennon Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky

  • Spending money on others promotes happiness

    Elizabeth Dunn, Lara Aknin and Michael Norton

See the thinking ↓

Article

Income and emotional well-being: a conflict resolved

Matthew Killingsworth, Daniel Kahneman and Barbara Mellers

Two researchers who had published opposite findings sat down together to work out who was right. The answer was both, in different populations: for most people happiness continues to rise with income, while for an unhappy minority it flattens once real hardship is behind them. It is the most honest available answer to the question of whether more money would help, and it refuses to give you a slogan in either direction.

Article

The Hedonic Adaptation Prevention Model

Kennon Sheldon and Sonja Lyubomirsky

Why the best parts of a life stop registering. Adaptation is efficient and it is also why people trade away arrangements that were working, having quietly stopped noticing them. The prevention research is more useful than the treadmill headline: variety and continued attention slow it, and pure acquisition does not.

Article

Spending money on others promotes happiness

Elizabeth Dunn, Lara Aknin and Michael Norton

The effect depends far less on the amount than on whether the giving was chosen and whether you can see what it did. That is a useful design constraint. A small, specific, visible commitment does more for the person giving than a larger anonymous one, which is worth knowing before you set up something you will never think about again.

Book

The Psychology of Money

Morgan Housel

Housel's argument is that financial behaviour is mostly not a maths problem. People handle money according to what they lived through, what they saw at home and what they are frightened of. Read it for the chapters on enough and on wealth being the money you do not spend, which are the two ideas this exercise keeps running into.